Topic > My dream of making the dean's list and the fear of failure

I've always wanted to make the dean's list and unfortunately I haven't succeeded, which can be very frustrating when you try your best and it's just not good enough Good. I mean, I try everything I can to get straight A's and nothing seems to work. I have a tutor for every class possible and he helps me get my grade up, but not high enough to where I need it. I try different study techniques, they all seem effective but I actually can't do much better on my test. I do all the extra credit assignments available, but these tend to only be worth a few points, so it doesn't make much difference. Now, by no means am I saying I'm doing poorly in college, I'm actually doing really well getting As and Bs. I've learned that pluses and minuses make a big difference with grades and GPA, so even though I got As and B, those grades were too low in their percentage to make the dean's list, I want to make it at least once before I graduate .Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an Original Essay I would always call home and tell my parents about my grades and how I was feeling and they would respond in two completely different ways but they were both helpful in their own unique way of comforting me. When my mother listened to me talk about my grades, she would tell me how proud she was of me and that I had done my best and that next time I would win. He never allowed me to speak badly about myself and always encouraged me to do my best and that is more than enough when it comes to my grades. Now my dad did the same, but he did it with more of an attempt not to go below C and he's fine with that. He knew how much I was working and pushing myself and didn't want me to overdo it and stress myself out more than I should. Once I got to college is when he became very encouraging and would always tell me he was proud of me, which meant a lot and calmed me down when I was freaking out about my grades. Both of my parents are very supportive of me and let me know that no matter what, they are always proud of me and always will be and that means more to me than they will ever know. My greatest fear has always been failure itself, never to be. capable of being good enough for anyone or anything. Now my dad is very supportive of me, but when I was younger all he focused on was where I could improve. Nothing I did was good enough, so I always felt like a failure because if I can't even make my family proud, how could I make others proud and show them that I'm more than good enough. Much of my childhood was spent trying to make my father proud of me, my mother was very supportive and was always there for me, which I will forever be grateful for but I want her approval. I didn't understand this growing up, so I always felt like a failure and like I would never be able to succeed due to the fact that I couldn't even get my father's approval. The first time my dad told me he was proud of me was towards the end of the fall semester of my freshman year, so about a year ago...I cried because I had finally succeeded in what I wanted for so long but couldn't. I don't understand why it took so long for this to happen. He had this tough love mentality and never said encouraging words because he didn't want us to get used to receiving compliments or being rewarded for doing what we should have done in the first place. Looking back, I understand where he was coming from, but I don't think his way of trying to make his point got me.