Erikson's stage one conflict is trust versus mistrust. During my first year of life, my mother told me that I was very clingy and dependent on her. I was the youngest of two children, so she had a chance to redeem herself for the mistakes she made with her first child. My mother was by my side every second of the day; there was not a time when my needs were not met immediately upon request. Both my mother and father emphasized the fact that I was very spoiled as a child. My requests carried out with shouts and outbursts of anger were always granted without hesitation. Developing confidence hasn't been a problem for me. My parents were never inconsistent or emotionally unavailable. According to them, I would only trust you if I received what I wanted in return. If I cried for toys or attention and didn't get it, my cries wouldn't stop until the demands were met. If I was left by the nanny and she didn't spoil me, then I would cry until my mother came to get me. Sad, but true. They told me they regretted allowing me to become so spoiled at that age. I currently see how I have still applied this principle in certain ways. All my life I have been spoiled, both by my parents and my romantic partners. Whenever I was upset because things weren't going as planned, I always received some sort of gift to lift my spirits. I have trained myself to look at people and say to myself, "If you can't do anything for me, then I can't trust you or deal with you." Why should I waste my time being around you if you can't do anything for me whenever I need it? I see that my spoiled ways haven't disappeared, maybe they never will. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an Original Essay The second phase of the conflict is Autonomy versus Shame and Doubt. This is the stage where children figure out whether they can do things on their own or whether they rely on the help of others. They are trying to gain more independence and control over the world around them. From what I remember, my father told me that I was very stubborn. I have always wanted to master tasks quickly and on my own. Potty training and dressing myself was no exception. They told me that once I started realizing that a clean pull-up was much less irritating than a dirty one when I started wanting to potty train. The feeling of self-control is a big part of my life today; however, I'm not entirely sure if that's good or bad. I often tend not to ask for help and get frustrated when people step in to help me. It's not that I hate when I'm offered help, I just know that I like things done a certain way. There is a saying that goes “If you want something done well, do it yourself”. I hate having to rely on others, especially when I know they won't help me get the results I need if I go ahead and do it on my own. The third phase of conflict is Initiative versus Guilt. At this point, children are encouraged to explore and help them make appropriate choices. Play time is important at this stage, as it helps children begin to plan activities, invent their own games and initiate activities with others. If this is achieved correctly, they will develop a sense of initiative and feel confident enough to lead others. On the contrary, if the initiative is not achieved, due to criticism or control, they will feel like a nuisance to other people and will very often remain followers. My mother always encouraged me to make new onesfriendships and playing with other children. I remember one day at the park he saw children playing and kept pushing me to start a conversation with them. I wasn't lucky enough to win the initiative conflict. This was not due to my mother in any way, but rather to the other children and students who never took a liking to me. They always made me feel like I was a nuisance and shouldn't be here. The consequences of this still show up today. I'm twenty-nine and people still make me feel like I'm a burden to them. The guilt that has accumulated over the years at this stage makes me slow to interact with others to this day. The fourth phase of the conflict is Industry versus Inferiority. This stage allows a child's peers to have a significant influence on their self-esteem by feeling the need to gain approval by excelling in different skills. Skills that society deems important will not be developed if the caregiver or teacher makes them feel inferior due to lack of encouragement. This causes doubt and prevents them from reaching their full potential. During the interview with my parents, they told me that my skills were highly appreciated. I was an excellent runner, excelled at sports, and was extremely artistic. They witnessed my failure in the previous phase of initiative conflict and saw how this affected me. My mother said she remembered the days when I would go straight to my room and cry for hours hearing kids tell me I was annoying every time I tried to make friends. He told me that this was one of the reasons he pushed me to manifest my hidden abilities to the world. He saw potential in me that I didn't even know I had. I slowly started to feel competent and was accepted by my peers. As an adult, I feel like this conflict can be fifty-fifty. I have my moments where I feel competent and confident in driving. Other days I find myself questioning myself and feeling inadequate for not being able to do things that my sisters or other people can do. The fifth stage of conflict is identity vs. role confusion. This is the phase in which one searches for oneself and personal identity. At this point we're trying to figure out exactly who we are. I failed to adequately address this conflict. Deep down, I was always worried about how others saw me and I wasn't mentally strong enough to create my own identity not based on the approval of others. I was always unsure of myself during this phase. An example of this is that I had difficulty forming and maintaining relationships. My mother remembered how she noticed that I was always hanging out with new crowds of people, crowds that she knew I had no reason to hang around with. He realized that I was very impulsive and unpredictable, all signs that I was struggling with my identity. My mother wanted to control me during this phase, but she thought it was best to let me find my own way. He feared that this would cause a rebellion and that I would go even further astray. It wasn't until my freshman year of high school that I learned to accept myself and develop a sense of individuality. I had argued to defend a group of people I wanted to fit in with. I found myself defending one of the girls in the group. Ultimately I was attacked and this same individual did nothing to help me. At that point I understood how important it was not to worry about others and to develop my own identity. That day I learned the importance of having self-esteem. I still apply this thought process. Whenever I meet new people, I always remind myself to never lose my personality and to always remain confident in myself..