It seems that there is no more "natural" image than that of a loving mother and this iconic concept of a good mother has permeated almost all of society. In Western culture, as in most cultures, the powerful big culture promotes the instinctive character of motherhood, generalizes the maternal experience, and projects “an idealized model of motherhood” as universal. But feminist historians have long pointed out that this iconic concept of the good mother is anything but natural and that “there is no essential or universal experience of motherhood.” It is in fact a social construction shrouded in cultural expectations and norms. Adrienne Rich describes it as “the institution” of motherhood. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an original essay According to feminist critics, the conventional ideology of motherhood, “presuming the institution and image of the idealized white, middle-class heterosexual couple and their children,” internalizes and reinforces traditional gender roles that have kept women in a subordinate position. Motherhood is also presented by patriarchal society as women's path to ultimate fulfillment. In most cases, women define themselves because they are mothers ensure the continuity of the patriarchal line if descending and on the other to regulate female behavior. It narrows the definition of femininity and relegates the woman to the position of “object” and, consequently, female subjectivity is denied. While some feminists reject motherhood as it is considered the ultimate acceptance of patriarchal oppression, in recent decades more feminist scholars such as Julia Kristeva have understood that “women's liberation cannot proceed by condemning motherhood” and what they need is to constitute a new discourse on motherhood. On the one hand, they continue to criticize the restrictive and monolithic definition of motherhood, on the other, they attempt a maternal discourse that offers breadth and diversity and, above all, highlights the mother's perspective and subjectivity. What is even more revolutionary is that motherhood has been recognized as empowering for women. Adrienne Rich is one of the first feminists to articulate the empowering potential of motherhood. In his fundamental work, on motherhood born of women as an experience and an institution, he makes the distinction between the concepts of motherhood and maternity, indicating the first as a restrictive patriarchal institution and the second as an individual experience. She also sees this individual experience of motherhood as a source of power, which Andrea O'Reilly calls “empowered mothering”. This idea is echoed by Julia Kristeva in her connection between the maternal dimension and the formation of the subject. She argues that motherhood, as the embodiment of otherness or inner otherness, forms “the heretical ethic of love” that “binds the subject to the other through love” and, consequently, upsets the law of the father. Lessing begins his story by showing the patriarchal construction of angelic motherhood. David is introduced as an ambitious architect with "what he worked for was a house". It is old-fashioned and conservative with the conventional notion of family life centered on idealized motherhood. So he marries the right woman and sets out to make his dream come true. Soon the couple buys a “large Victorian house” and fills it with children. David chooses his wife as part of his dream of the future and as a guarantee of the patriarchal order. "If Harriet saw her future the old way, that a man would give her the keys to her kingdom, and that as her right tobirth,... His wife must be like him in this: that she knew where happiness was and how to maintain it." It." It is Davide, as head of the family, who decides the value of women in light of a patriarchal standard of ideal motherhood, self-sacrifice and fertility. The romanticized notion of motherhood is in fact the projection of male aspiration. Kaplan points out that the promotion of this powerful ideology of romanticized motherhood, “a prevailing cultural discourse of the 'angel' Mother ideal,” has functioned to manipulate women into maintaining the patriarchal order. By David's standard, Harriet is indeed a perfect choice. She is presented as a traditional woman with a maternal nature who also believes in domestic happiness based on the stereotypical division of labor. Harriet leaves her job after getting married and the question of “whether or not to be a career woman” has never worried her, because she takes it for granted that “family life was the basis for a happy life”. She joyfully embraces the social role given to her by the patriarchy and is so absorbed by this conventional stereotype that she judges her own worth entirely in consideration of her function as a mother. From the beginning of their marriage, Harriet's life has centered on pregnancy, childbirth, and nurturing. Compressing six years into a couple of pages, Lessing chronicles the birth of the couple's four children and their early marriage. The Lovatts have built a small kingdom, based on the ideal mother-son relationship. It is a society governed by dominant patriarchal values with David as the head of the power structure. However, this social order is interrupted by the birth of the fifth child Ben, whose presence demonstrates that this patriarchal construction of the maternal ideal is nothing more than a fantasy. Ben is defined in terms of differences. Her presence shatters the maternal ideal supported by the Lovatts. The disruption made by this different child is where Lessing turns to examine the unpleasant and even horrific side of motherhood. When he is in his mother's womb, he causes her extraordinary agony with his incessant beatings and strains. This overly energetic baby seems to come out of her stomach, leaving her unable to sleep or rest. The unpleasant experience of motherhood is particularly highlighted in the birth scene, which is almost as terrifying as that of Frankenstein's monster. Unlike the four previous children with "blond tufts, blue eyes and pink cheeks", Ben appears large, ugly and malformed. With his large, muscular body, stooped, heavy-shouldered appearance and yellow-green eyes, he is "not like a child at all." The atmosphere is not one of celebration or success, but of tension and apprehension. Raising Ben proves to be an even more painful experience for Harriet. He is always struggling and crying, so caring for him leaves her exhausted. Even feeding him is very painful because his stomach never seems to settle. Harriet's breast is always "bruised and black around the nipple." Lessing highlights the difficulty of motherhood through a dilemma: because trying to be a good mother to Ben requires all her energy and time, Harriet fails to be a good mother to her other four children. This is the detailed description of one woman's terrible experience of motherhood: one filled with stress, exhaustion and loneliness. The stark contrast serves as an attack on the idealized notion of motherhood projected by the patriarchal tradition. Here Lessing attempts to provide a more realistic picture of motherhood by outlining the mother's subjective feelings and thoughts about being a mother. It is totally against the narrow representation of motherhood promoted by the dominant culture. In a word, this speechindividualistic about motherhood serves as a comparison with the patriarchal myth of motherhood. The tyranny of patriarchal power is revealed in the way it treats the Aline child. Some critics consider Ben to be an evil force that destroys the perfect family, but to see the same situation from another perspective, he is actually a victim of alienation by the dominant society. Because of his differences and abnormalities he is denied a true identity. The whole family mistakes him for an alien and calls him “troll”, “goblin”, “something” or even “yeti”. David is the worst of all. He simply evades his responsibility as a father and later disowns the child, when Harriet refers to Ben as our son, he responds, "well, he's certainly not mine." His responsibility is for “real children”. Ultimately, the family decides to send Ben to a nightmare institution where he will be drugged to death. The family can't stand Ben, but the local tramps all get along with him. Here the contrast poses a question: Is Ben truly abnormal or is he alienated by the dominant culture? In the novel it is the "small kingdom" built by the father that represents the dominant society. It is the father, as the head of the institution of power, who defines what is normal and acceptable. And Ben, with his unusual strength and his behaviors considered by the dominant culture to be animalistic, instinctive and uncivilized, represents the socially unfit, the outsider and the "other". Because his “otherness” threatens and destabilizes the fundamental classifications of the patriarchal order, the family rejects him and attempts to remove him. It is through the exclusion of the “other” that patriarchy maintains its order. It is also through his treatment of the child that Lessing reveals his restriction and manipulation of the mother. To get rid of Ben, the family forces Harriet to abandon him. At first David and his parents try to convince Harriet to hand him over, then he also resorts to “either him or us” threats. And when the family reaches an agreement to send him to an institution “everyone except Harriet laughed”. While Ben has to be taken from the car, David stays so that by "handling her", "with the same hard face, and putting his arm around her", he actually forces her to her decision. In this case, the father represents patriarchal power while the mother represents the weak, the powerless and the loss of maternal subjectivity. Soon normality begins to fill the house again. Listening to the laughter of her husband and children, Harriet gradually convinces herself that giving Ben away is the right thing to do. It is by abandoning the alien children that she regains her title as a “good mother” for other children and is therefore subject to the orthodox maternal paradigm. This can be seen as her submissive participation in the rule of patriarchy. The mother's awakening begins with her conflicted reflection on her relationship with Ben and the meaning of motherhood. In fact, the existing social structure has distorted the mother-son relationship and the mother has been influenced by the values of the dominant society to such an extent that when she thinks that Ben is being sent away she even feels relieved. But at the same time she can't put Ben out of her mind and is overwhelmed by a sense of guilt and responsibility. Harriet's conflicting feelings have their origin in what Julia Kristeva explains as the simultaneous unity and division of the mother with the child. Despite her husband's strong opposition, she rescues Ben from the hellish institution and brings him home. Her decision to save Ben emphasizes the natural bond between mother and child, which Kristeva again echoes in her elaboration of "heretic," a mother-child bond of love that precedes the symbolic order or law of the father . By saving Ben, Harriet transgresses norms of male orientation and thus indicates her own.
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