Shakespeare's sonnets 138 and 147 read like before-and-after accounts of a man's experience of leaving an unfaithful woman. Shakespeare's narrator first describes the almost masochistic way in which his interlocutor maintains a relationship with this disloyal woman out of a desire to appear young and foolish to her. Later, when their charade is over, he comes close to madness, craving her attention and touch despite being lied to for so long. This theme of self-inflicted pain for the sake of a lover's attention, sexual or otherwise, defies reason in both sonnets, but is both desperate and serious. Although the narrator does not desire the qualities of the lover herself, but her touch and a feeling that inspires him, his desire for this woman is consistently intense enough to appear rational both to the audience and to himself. . Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an original essay When my love swears to be made of truth I believe her, even though I know she lies, That she might think me an incompetent youth, unaware of the false niceties of the world. So thinking in vain that he thinks me young, though I know my best days are past, I simply give credence to his false tongue: on both sides thus the simple truth is suppressed. But why do you say it's not unfair? And why don't I say I'm old? Oh, love's best habit is apparent trust, And the age in love loves not to be told the years: Therefore I lie with her and she with me, And in our faults with the lies we will flatter. (Shakespeare 1041) The narrator's masochism in this sonnet is expressed in his willingness to make himself a cuckold to appear foolish and youthful. By Sonnet 138, Shakespeare's narrator insists that he realizes that he has been betrayed, but that he remains with the woman to appear outwardly young to her and others. By appearing mute, the narrator may also lie to himself and believe he is still young. The narrator explains, “I believe her” in a tone that suggests he has had to defend this decision before, and that his resolve is to continue the charade of being with her for the sake of stupidity (line 2). His irrationality continues when he explains, "Though he knows my days are past the best," meaning he realizes that she doesn't think he's younger than he actually is, but he keeps trying regardless (line 6 ). The narrator has now admitted to himself and the reader that few people see themselves as younger, yet the farce continues. Shakespeare has presented a relationship that provides no real benefits to the narrator: the woman lies to him while he lies to himself in a feeble attempt to appear young, but receives no real benefit. In line 13, Shakespeare says that the narrator "lies with her, and she with [him]" with the double meaning expressed in the word "lie." The two physically lie with each other night after night, but they also continue to tell each other these silly lies about her loyalty to him for their respective gains. The question behind this sonnet remains: why does the narrator pretend to believe this woman so readily, and why is he so insecure about aging? The man subjects himself to this deception of being part of a "love triangle", as well as putting tremendous pressure on himself to maintain the appearance of youth. He never describes, however, the pain that this facade must obviously entail, for fear of exposing himself as a madman who clings to his youth. Throughout the sonnet, the speaker attempts to be "blissfully ignorant" about his lover for personal gain, but only comes off as foolish and masochistic. My love is like a fever,who still desires what most nurses the disease, Feeding on what does not preserve the sick, the uncertain sickly appetite to please. My reason, the doctor for my love, angry because his prescriptions are not kept, left me, and now in despair I approve The wish is death, except that the doctor did. Once the cure has passed, now the reason has overcome the cure, And mad frantic for more and more restlessness; My thoughts and my speeches are like madmen, Randomly gives the truth expressed in vain: since I have sworn allegiance to you and thought you bright, that you are black as hell, dark as night. (Shakespeare 1042) Sonnet 147 follows sonnet 138, continuing the narrator's story after he leaves his deceitful lover. While it's unclear how the relationship ended, it's obvious that the bonds between the lovers were grossly severed. Although estranged, the narrator still feels a yearning for the woman who scorned him, despite his mind's attempts to reason. The poem is filled with fiery, fiery language to suggest both his contempt for what she had done to him and the longing he still has for her. The first line refers to the "fever, desire still" within him after their departure, and the subsequent language is spitting and ferocious, full of contempt but still passionate desire for his body. She, the one "who most nurses the disease", has brought the narrator to a point of no return; his desperation drove him to madness (line 2). The narrator now faces the physical pain of lusting after his lover's body despite having lied to her while he was with her. Here he struggles to understand why his heart does not listen to the reason of his "doctor", recognizing this time that he has a problem, but diagnoses himself as too advanced to be cured (line 5). While in sonnet 138, the narrator was able to lie to himself and pretend to have accepted his lover's infidelity, here he is unable to bear the lust and resulting pain he is left with. The sonnet ends with a message to the woman: "I swore you fair and held you bright, / That you are black as hell, dark as night" (lines 13-14). For the first time in both sonnets, he talks about his illness long enough to tell her how "fair" and "bright" he thought she and their relationship were at the same time (line 13). He undoes this feeling he once had, now calling her “Black as hell, dark as night” to serve as a final spit at her, but also as a twist of the knife he has plunged into himself (line 14). Shakespeare exposes love in these sonnets as a disease from which his narrator cannot save or cure himself. In sonnet 138, he inflicts this disease on himself by ignoring the fact that his lover is cheating on him, because of the way he feels in response. This theme of self-harm is embodied in the first sonnet in a calm and quiet manner. Although the idea of ​​being with a cheating lover is not at all rational, Shakespeare uses smooth and easy pacing to suggest that the narrator is still clear-headed. He recognizes the "suppressed simple truth" in his fiction and seems to have the upper hand in their game (line 8). Sonnet 147 sees the narrator undergo the illness out of desperation and longing for the woman he was once with. He is no longer passive when he talks about the woman, but contemptuous and bitter towards the relationship that once existed. He spits out his words, completely incapacitated by his lover's spell over him, shaking his fist angrily at the motivation she was able to steal from him. The common theme of these two poems, the masochism to which a lover subjects himself during an affair, is best exemplified in this last sonnet, as the spell of love has completely weakened him to this 8).