Topic > Traditional Chinese Wedding Customs

IntroductionSay no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an Original Essay The following summary of traditional Chinese wedding customs was prepared in response to questions from visitors to this site. This is by no means an academic work, nor does the author claim any specific expertise. Furthermore, there were variations across the vast expanse of China, from region to region and even from village to village. Presumably there were also significant differences reflecting the wealth and social status of the bride and groom. Thus, the following must be seen only as a collection of many variations of the wedding rituals that were in practice in the past. History Over 2,400 years of traditions The systematization of apparently pre-existing elements of the traditional Chinese wedding ceremony is generally attributed to scholars of the Warring States period, 402-221 BC Three venerable texts, The Book of Rites, The Book of Etiquette and Ceremonial, and the Baihu Tong outline the Three Covenants and Six Rites, which were considered necessary elements of a marriage. However, the entire ritual was so complicated that, even throughout the Warring States period, the etiquette underwent modifications and simplifications. The main objectives remained constant: to unite and enhance the two families and to guarantee a succession with numerous descendants. Reverence towards parents and ancestors, omens to encourage fertility and wealth, financial and social obligations contracted by both families during betrothal, broad etiquette for giving, and the bride's incorporation into her husband's family they are recurring elements. Ancient Marriage Customs The Proposal The process began with an elaborate marriage proposal and acceptance. This process was entrusted to an intermediary who acted as a buffer between the two parties, a role similar to that of a real estate agent today. The important parties in the proposal and engagement negotiations were the parents of the prospective bride and groom, rather than the bride and groom themselves. “Marriage served to continue the ancestral line and create alliances between families; a task too important to be left in the reckless hands of young people”, explains Costa”. When the boy's parents identified a likely future bride, they sent the intermediary to present gifts to the girl's parents and express their feelings about the meeting. If the proposal was well received, the intermediary would get the date and time of the child's birth recorded on a formal document. The groom's family would place this document on the ancestral altar for three days. If no unfavorable omens occurred within that time, such as arguments between the parents or loss of property, the parents communicated the information to an expert astrologer to confirm that the young woman and their son would be a good match. If the boy's family thought the horoscope was favorable, they communicated the boy's date and time of birth to the intermediary to take to the girl's family, who would follow the same process. Only after both results were favorable would the two families agree to meet. Finally, face to face, each family evaluated the other in terms of appearance, education, character and social position. If both were satisfied they would proceed with the engagement. The Engagement First, both sets of parents exchanged family credentials as a sign of intention. Then, after long negotiations, the two families would have arrived at the sum of money and goods that would have constituted the gift to the girl's family. After havingpresented the engagement tokens, the intermediary asked the bride's family to choose from several auspicious dates suggested by the boy's family and also fixed a date for the presentation of the engagement gifts. The boy's family presented engagement gifts of money and significant items such as tea, "Dragon (male) and Phoenix (female)" wedding cakes, male and female pairs, poultry, sweets and sugar, wine and tobacco, accompanied by a detailed declaration of such gifts. In some areas tea was such an important part of these gifts that they were collectively known as cha-li, or “tea gifts.” The girl's family reciprocated with gifts of food and clothing. It was customary for the girl's family to distribute the wedding cakes received from the boy's family to friends and relatives as a form of announcement and invitation to the wedding banquet. The number of sweets given to each person was established according to strict etiquette, based on seniority and degree of intimacy. Those who received wedding cakes had to present congratulatory gifts to the girl's parents. The gifts from the boy's family recognized the parents' efforts in raising the girl, and by accepting the gifts, the girl's family pledged her to the boy's. Interestingly, the bride was given to the family and not just to the groom. Even though the bride and groom had probably not yet met, the engagement was considered binding unless both families agreed to cancel the contract. Several days after the presentation of the betrothal gifts, the girl's family sent porters with an inventoried dowry to the boy's house. The dowry consisted of practical objects, including a chamber pot, filled for the occasion with fruit and strings of coins. This procession gave the girl's family the opportunity to display both their social status and their love for their daughter, and wealthy parents often included girls who served to care for their daughter in her new home. Engagements generally lasted a year or two, although childhood engagements lasted until the children reached marriageable age. Wedding Preparations Retreat to the Rooster's Attic In preparation for her imminent departure, the bride-to-be withdrew from her ordinary routine and lived in seclusion in a separate part of the house with her closest friends. During this time, young women sang laments, mourning the separation of the bride from her family and cursing the middleman, as well as the groom's family and even the girl's parents. Since this prolonged "sleeping" often took place in the rooster's attic, the bride's exit on her wedding day was sometimes referred to as "exiting the rooster's attic." Installation of the wedding bed Preparation by the groom included installing the wedding bed the day before the wedding. An auspicious hour and a "lucky woman" or "lucky man", that is, a man or woman with many children and life partners, was selected to install a newly purchased bed. (The installation ceremony consisted simply of moving the bed slightly; the actual work was done by servants or friends.) After the bed was in place, the children were invited to sit on the bed as a sign of fertility, the more we are, the happier we are. For the same reason the bed was strewn with red dates, oranges, lotus seeds, peanuts, pomegranates and other fruits. Part of the fun was watching the kids rush to get the fruit. Wedding Day The bride's "hairdressing" ritual and the groom's "covering" ritual symbolized their initiation into adulthood and were important parts of the wedding preparations.marriage. Red, a symbol of joy, was clearly visible in the clothes and other ritual objects related to marriage. The "hairstyle" ritual At dawn on the wedding day (or the previous night), the bride bathed in water infused with pumelo, a variety of grapefruit, to purify her from evil influences; and is suspected to be a skin-softening cosmetic in the manner of contemporary alphahydroxyls. He put on some new underwear and sat in front of the lit dragon and phoenix candles. A "lucky woman" assisted in the bride's preparations. She spoke auspicious words as she styled the bride's hair in the style of a married woman. After her hair was combed, the bride emerged from her retreat. She was carried into the main hall on the back of the "lucky" woman or older sister-in-law. There she put on a jacket and skirt and put on a pair of red shoes, placed in the center of a sieve. The bride's face was covered by a red silk veil or "curtain" of tassels or beads that hung from the Phoenix wedding crown. (The photo below was taken at the Chinese Summer Festival mock wedding the previous year.) After completing the wedding preparations, the bride bowed to her parents and the ancestral tablets and waited for the wedding procession to arrive from the house of the groom. The “capping” ritual Dressed in a long dress, red shoes and a red silk sash with a ball of silk on his shoulder, the groom knelt in front of the family altar while his father placed a cap decorated with leaves on his head of cypress. The groom bowed first to the tables of Heaven and Earth and to his ancestors, then to his parents and the assembled family members. Her father removed the ball of silk from the sash and placed it on top of the wedding sedan chair. The procession from the groom's house to get the bride The din of firecrackers, loud gongs and drums marked the beginning of the procession from the groom's house. The groom led the procession accompanied by a child as an omen of his future children, and the wedding sedan chair was preceded by attendants with lanterns and banners, musicians and a "dancing" lion or unicorn. According to Hsiang, “Several decades ago, when there was a wedding in Fukien, the groom would go to the bride's house to pick her up, bringing with him the wedding chair, which was completely covered with red satin and fresh flowers. He himself made the round trip in a blue and yellow teak sedan chair. ”Upon arrival at the bride's house, the groom's party was greeted by the bride's friends, who would not 'surrender' the bride until they were satisfied with red packets of money, ang pau of the groom's representative. This was the occasion for many good-natured negotiations before the two sides could reach an agreement. In some cases, the groom dined with the bride's family and received a pair of chopsticks and two wine glasses wrapped in red paper, symbolizing the family's joy in the person of his daughter. In some regions he was offered sweet longan tea, two boiled eggs in syrup and transparent noodles. Another variation was the groom's consumption of soup with a soft-boiled egg, the yolk of which he was supposed to crack, probably symbolic of the breaking of the bride's ties with her family. Bridesmaid Games When the groom arrived at the bride's house, the groom's party was greeted by the bride's friends, who bargained with the groom or his representatives. They would make him perform stunts or tricks and would not "give up" their friend until they were satisfied with the red packets of money. The bride's journey to the groom's house The "woman of good fortune" or a dajin, employed by the bride's family to care for the bride,he carried the bride on his back to the sedan chair. Another assistant might protect the bride with a parasol while a third throws rice onto the sedan chair. Sometimes the bride was carried out in a wooden "cage" with her feet padlocked, presumably a holdover from more difficult times with extremely reluctant brides. A sieve, shai-tse, which would filter out evil, and a metal mirror, king, which would reflect light, were suspended at the back of the bride's sedan chair to protect her from the influence of evil. The bride could also attach a special mirror to her robe, which would not be removed until she was safely seated on the marriage bed. Firecrackers were set off to scare away evil spirits as the bride left in her sedan chair. The physical movement symbolized the bride's transfer from her parents' family to that of her husband. Great care was taken to ensure that no negative influences could affect the wedding. The escorts who accompanied the bride to her new home were chosen paying particular attention to ensure that the animals in the horoscope of their years of birth were compatible with that of the groom. The sedan chair itself was covered with heavy curtains to prevent the bride from inadvertently catching a glimpse of an unfortunate sight, such as a widow, a well, or even a cat. The attendants scattered grain or beans, symbols of fertility, before her. Arrival at the groom's house Once again, just before the arrival of the procession, firecrackers were set off. A red mat was placed in front of the bride's sedan chair so that her feet would not touch the bare ground as she dismounted. The whole family would have been waiting to receive her. The bride was required to step over a saddle or a lit stove to cross the threshold, as the words for "saddle" and "tranquility" sound the same, ngan, and the fire chased away evil influences. An assistant could immediately place a pile of rice in a sieve on or near the bride. If the bride was not wearing a lucky mirror, it could be used to illuminate the bride at this time. In some regions, a measuring cup of grain and a series of copper coins were placed as prosperity talismans. After these rituals took place, the groom could finally lift the red scarf and see the bride's face. The wedding, unlike the elaborate preparations, the wedding ceremony itself was simple. The newlyweds were led to the family altar, where they paid homage to Heaven and Earth, the family's ancestors and the god of cuisine, Tsao-Chün. The groom's parents were offered tea, usually with two lotus seeds or two red dates in the cup. Then the bride and groom bowed to each other. This completed the marriage ceremony, except in some regions, where both also drank wine from the same cup, ate sugar fashioned into the shape of a rooster, and attended the wedding dinner together. Chinese Wedding Tea Ceremony Meaning of Tea Tea is probably used because it is China's national drink and serving it is a sign of respect. Using tea is practical because not everyone can drink alcohol. Lotus seeds and two red dates are used in tea for two reasons. First of all, the words “lotus” and “year”, “seed” and “child”, “date” and “soon” are homophones, that is, they have the same sound but different meanings in Chinese. Secondly, the ancient Chinese believed that putting these elements in tea would help newlyweds produce children at the beginning of their marriage and every year, which would ensure many grandchildren for their parents. Furthermore, the sweetness of the special tea is a wish for sweet relationships between the bride and her new family. Serving tea On the wedding day, the bride servestea (holding the cup with both hands) to her parents at home before the groom's arrival. She does it out of respect and to thank her parents for raising her. At this time the tea does not need to contain lotus seeds or dates, and the bride does not need the assistance of a "lucky woman". She pours and serves the tea alone, without the groom. Traditionally, after the wedding ceremony, the bride and groom serve tea (holding the cups with both hands), inviting the groom's elders to drink tea by addressing them with a formal title, for example first uncle or third aunt. The general rule is to have the woman on the left side and the man on the right side. The people served will sit on chairs, while the bride and groom will kneel. For example, when the newlyweds serve tea to the groom's parents, the bride kneels before her father-in-law, while the groom kneels before his mother. The bride and groom serve tea in order, starting with the groom's parents, proceeding from the oldest members of the family to the youngest, for example the groom's parents, then the paternal grandparents, then the maternal grandparents, then the younger uncles and aunts. large, up to his older brother. In exchange, the bride and groom receive red lucky envelopes (“lai see”, which means “lucky”) filled with money or jewels. The helpers, who are usually women blessed with a happy marriage or wealth and chosen by the fortune teller or the bride's mother, also receive lucky red envelopes filled with money from those being served. These envelopes are placed on the plate containing the teacups. The Bridal Chamber Immediately after the ceremony, the newlyweds were led into the bridal chamber, where they both sat on the bed. In some areas honey and wine were poured into two cups tied by a red thread. The newlyweds took a few sips, then exchanged cups and drank. On the day of the wedding (and sometimes for the next three days), the bedroom was open to visitors, who could tease the young couple with lewd comments. Wedding Banquets Generally, the parents of the bride and groom hosted separate wedding banquets for their respective friends and family. Even during the feast, men and women sat separately. There may be just one party for each or a series of parties over several days. However, the most important celebration was the one given to the groom's family on the wedding day. It was generally considered a public recognition of the union. Chinese food has special symbolism: mainly wishes for happiness, longevity or fertility. The number of courses is also significant. At a Chinese wedding banquet, eight dishes are usually served, not including dessert. In Chinese, the word “eight” sounds like “good luck”. (The words for “nine” and “long” are also homophones, words that sound the same but have different meanings. At a birthday banquet, nine dishes are served with noodles at the end.) Nowadays, a wedding banquet begins with hors d'oeuvres such as “dragon-phoenix” dishes or cold dishes consisting of various sliced ​​meats, jellyfish and various types of nuts shaped like dragons and phoenixes and served cold. (Lobster in Chinese is literally "dragon shrimp" and in Chinese restaurants, chicken feet are called "phoenix legs"). In a wedding, the dragon symbolizes the male role while the phoenix symbolizes the female role. (See Chinese Wedding Traditions for additional uses of Dragon and Phoenix symbolism.) This opposing but not contradictory yin-yang dualism is a key concept of Taoism according to Professor George Lee of San Francisco State University. He and others believe that Taoism and yin-yang dualism prevail over Chinese philosophy. Lee wrote that according to Black Sect Tantric Buddhism, “man and woman form a family – the tao ofmarriage". Therefore, having lobster and chicken for dinner would represent balance in the new relationship. As for the specific menu selections you mention: - Shark fin soup. The soup usually follows the appetizers. The type of soup has a certain meaning, for example shark fin soup indicates wealth because this delicacy is very expensive. - Roasted suckling pig. Roasted pig is a symbol of virginity. (The groom presents a whole roasted pig to the bride's family during the engagement party.) – - Peking duck and lobster. Red is the color of happiness, so serving Peking duck and lobster would mean joy and celebration. Furthermore, serving the dish whole, i.e. with the head and legs, would symbolize completeness. – - Pigeon (or Other Poultry). According to Shu Shu Costa, author of Wild Geese and Tea, the pigeon has tender meat that symbolizes peace. Two pigeons are usually offered to wish the newlyweds peace as they begin their new life together. - The pigeon is similar to the quail, so both probably symbolize peace. The quail is offered whole to each guest so that everyone can also live a peaceful life. Serving fried chicken wishes the couple a good life because in Chinese “red chicken” sounds like “good life”. - Crab claws. If you want to serve crab, I recommend serving the whole crab and not just the claws, which will be separated from the other parts. Since you will be serving lobster, I recommend substituting the crab claws for fried chicken because of my explanation above. – - A typical Chinese banquet usually includes chicken and duck. - Vegetables with sea cucumbers. Serving sea cucumber with vegetables is a sign of altruism because “sea cucumber” sounds like “good heart” and this dish wishes the couple to think similarly – to avoid conflicts. - - Fish. Serving fish raises hopes that the couple can live a life together filled with abundance because “fish” sounds like “abundant” in Chinese. - The noodles served at the end symbolize longevity because the noodles are long. - Sweet red bean soup and sweet rolls. Serving dessert probably wishes the newlyweds a sweet life. The hot and sweet red bean soup should contain lotus seeds (lian zi) and a bark-like vegetable (bak hop) to wish the newlyweds one hundred years of togetherness. - The sweet lotus paste contained in the sweetened steamed bread symbolizes fertility; it is shaped and colored to resemble peaches (ta zi), as the peach represents long life. The sticky dumpling you describe, covered in crushed peanuts with black sesame paste in the center, is called mochi. (You might consider mochi with lotus paste or red bean paste for their symbolic value rather than with black sesame paste.) At the end of the banquet, waiters usually hand out take-out boxes to guests because there is usually enough food for all and some left; this represents abundance. It is acceptable to take some of the food home because it is not good to waste good food – or anything else. Tea, alcohol and 7-Up are almost always provided at a Chinese wedding banquet. Offering tea is a sign of respect. Alcohol is served to celebrate the special occasion. (In Chinese, “going to a banquet dinner” is synonymous with “going to drink alcohol”; and in Cantonese, “going to drink” literally means “going to a bar.”) And 7-Up sounds like “seven happiness” . , since the words for "up" and "happiness" are homophones.) You may notice that Chinese restaurants have a large Chinese character behind the head table; it is the character that indicates "double happiness" that is used during wedding events. Post-wedding ritual Day after the wedding The day after the wedding, the bride.!