The loss of life and the pain that comes with it are huge parts of Oskar Schell's life in the novel Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer. Already at the age of nine, Oskar had to mature until his father's death on September 11th. He was forced to grow up quickly to be the “man of the house” and take care of his mother and family. While obviously intelligent and witty, he still has a good "child side", which brings out his curious and eager qualities. For example, after finding a key, Oskar opens himself up to the possibility of finding out more about his father and even how he died, hoping that this will leave him with closure and healing. I think a lot of the guilt feelings produced by trauma are resolved indirectly through the book, rather than directly. Oskar is unable to properly say goodbye to his father (because he hasn't picked up the phone but listens to the messages anyway). But key passages later manage to provide closure for him, as well as William Black, who has been trying to process his father's death, and they both learn how to deal with it and move forward together. This is also seen through Oskar's mom and his new love interest, as they met in a group to deal with trauma and thus helped each other draw strength from difficult situations. All of this has helped build community and create a way to address the trauma and guilt in many people's lives. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an original essay In addition to Oskar's narrative, the novel features chapters written by his grandfather and grandmother and their struggles with loss and trauma. First, Oskar's grandfather is tremendously affected by trauma and guilt, particularly after the bombing of Dresden. When his pregnant wife, Anna, died in the attack, he began to have such tremendous survivor's guilt that he eventually became unable to speak. Even though Grandpa doesn't speak out loud, he still communicates through his YES and NO tattoos on his hands, and then even writes notes when he needs to say something more. Later in his story, Grandpa says that he married Anna's sister (Oskar's grandmother) after the war, but when Grandma became pregnant by Oskar's father, Grandpa left her, adding another layer to his senses of guilt. The grandfather writes long letters to his son, although he never sends them, leaving him with guilt and a lot to think about. The grandfather fails to reconnect with his son, but he connects with the family when he goes to live with the grandmother (also leaving some indirect resolutions). His narrative gets to the heart of the events of his grandfather's life, leaving the reader to guess how he will deal with the ongoing trauma and pain of these experiences. Besides the grandfather, the grandmother is another narrator in the novel and wants the reader to know everything about her feelings, perhaps the reason why her letters and short story are titled "My Feelings". The long letters appear to have been written by the grandmother to Oskar after she decided to reunite with her husband. Her husband hasn't been there for her and would make this decision quite controversial. Similar to this is when she allows the "tenant" (the grandfather) to live with her, perhaps to keep him in her life to avoid the resulting past trauma and her guilt for keeping Oskar away from him. The grandmother does not allow the grandfather to see Oskar, also for this reason the grandmother is very reserved and closed. She keeps much of her life a secret, even Oskar doesn't really know her grandmother, even though she spends most of her life.