Healthy family relationships depend on healthy communications. “Good communication helps the family function well and prevents misunderstandings from turning into conflicts or remaining buried unresolved.” (Feiden, 68) There are many ways and times to practice and teach good communication to children. Many times without good communication, the parent-child relationship suffers and sometimes ends abruptly. Allen Schwartz, Ph.D., says he knows of "many cases in which children are raised in an atmosphere of dark secrecy regarding both the matriarchal and matriarchal systems." and patriarchal parts of their families. They grow up with the feeling that something is wrong, but they are afraid to discuss it with their parents." (5) Most people are raised with family secrets, but some secrets can destroy a family. The act of hiding secrets provides an excuse to limit self-disclosure and negatively affects one's self-esteem. When these become extremely limited or negative, the possibility of a separation and possible end of the relationship increases. The end of the relationship could mean that parent and child no longer speak to each other or, in extreme cases, are forcibly separated for their health. Unfortunately, “emotional health can be passed down from generation to generation just as easily as abuse and dysfunction” (Bloch, 7), making such communication dysfunctions an ongoing process. Sturges writes, “children will learn how to communicate with the world based largely on how they learned to communicate with their parents.” (31) Children often learn their communication behaviors not only from what we say but also from our actions. For example, if you tell your child that they can talk to you about anything, but... middle of paper... their minds. It is important for the parent to respect their wishes and let them know that they will be available when the child is ready to talk and that you will not judge them. Let the child tell the whole story before interjecting your own thoughts. There are also cases where the child will not want your opinion; they just want you to listen to their problems. It can be difficult to know whether the child wants your opinion or your ears, but if you actively listen to him, you will know what he wants. Remember, good communication is the heart of everything you do in life. Without good communication skills, things won't get done correctly and could damage relationships. Learning these communication skills begins at home from the day your child is born and should continue into adulthood and for the rest of their life.